That Same Ol' Fraudulent Feelin

Been working. Non stop.I've been working. Either it's been at my job or some project. I was in an accident a few days ago. Bike accident. I'm fine. At least I believe I am. There's been non stop agonizing pain for a while now. My should is bruised and my elbow is beyond cut up. Work has been draining me. I have two days off now. I know I should spend it resting, but the ideas in my head keep piling up. So much content needs to be created. I have so much I'm aiming for. So many goals and aspirations. I need to stop, think, rest, relax. I haven't even been able to design a simple website for my fiancee yet, and that's the easiest thing I can do (besides writing simple stories). It's like it's all locked up in there. I had an interesting conversation the other day. I've never been one to share my thoughts and feelings with anyone (not that I've had many to do that with) and the majority of the time I look to the comfort of strangers online. My fiancee and I made a breakthrough and progress in my own mental health. I feel the ability to confide in a real person. Sounds silly, but unless you know the absolute fear present when you're alone most of your life to have a true relationship and to open up completely... then you will never understand these words. Hopefully she's right and the things I've been seeing are just my stressed out brain. So why did she also see the shadow in the hotel that one night? We have similar issues and both have stress. God I just don't know right now. I'm just ranting about nothing it seems. I need some rest. I think a major issue I have is my lack of dedication and direction I have with this blog. I feel fraudulent sometimes I guess. I just don't want to think about it I suppose. I'll have something really good to post by Monday. Along with some... I don't know. Anyway Here's a short story...

It was about 11:30 last night. She wasn't feeling well but none the less a bike ride to the bar to try and relax seemed like the best idea possible. The previous week and even day was excruciatingly difficult. A few beers would have to calm us down. I mean, I can't. I can't even begin to fathom what could have happened. Or even why. This is crushing me. I was in front of her. It was dark sure, but it wasn't like we were biking down a dirt road with no lights or houses. It was the middle of town. As I was riding I heard the click clack of a bike that needed some grease, or oil, or whatever it might be. It's just really difficult to think that she's gone. I'm trying to pull myself together to tell you. It's incredible, this story I know, but I need someone to believe me. I just lost the love of my life damnit! All right give me a second to calm down...

You know how kids are afraid of the dark? I know this is a bit of a tangent but in order to understand the rest of what I have to say you must listen to this. What if what parents put off as an overactive imagination was real? If there was more to the darkness? If the imagination was more just images created by the brain and it was a gateway? That's why I believe this is my fault. They knew I had knowledge on them and the time was coming close to me finally doing something about them…

I don't need you judging me. I know I have enough problems mentally, but I would never hurt her. I have nothing to do with her disappearance. Before we left, I was researching paranormal phenomena and horror stories. My mind craves it. She always warned me it was too much, that I was too sensitive. I think part of her was afraid of me finding myself in too deep with something terrible. She warned me. SHE WARNED ME! It should have been me. God, why her? I need a minute...

I'm all right to continue. I was reading about shadows and creatures that live inside them. There are so many stories about how children have perfect vision and the only defense is to lose that sight and forget the nightmares. Those who don't, well either they are considered crazy or just vanish. Well I wrapped things up and before we left something moved in the corner of my eye, just a shadow. I've seen them before. I've always attributed it to my overactive imagination. I should have known. I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN!

I'm relaxed now. Well as I was saying, she was in back. As we were biking I mean. It wasn't even a mile away. Maybe two. I was never good with distance or time. I yelled back to her "ARE YOU OK?" she didn't answer but I heard the click clack of the bike. So I kept going. I should have stopped sooner though. I looked back and couldn't see her even though I heard the bike so I stopped. As I stopped I saw to the side a shadow. There wasn't anyone out. I know there wasn't. It was too tall to be a normal human's shadow. It was much darker then any normal shadow. I stayed at it. I thought I saw a glimmer of red where its eyes would be but I heard a scream and turned by head. There was the bike, but she was gone. She was gone. Gone...

The shadow. It was gone too. It thought it was me. It knew I could see it? WHY WOULD IT TAKE HER INSTEAD? I'm not crazy. I swear I'm not. It was real. On the way here I saw the shadows, more. Of course no one will believe me. Not unless you indulge yourselves in the morbid and unreal. I did and this is where I am for it.

That’s why it was there. It knew I could do that, and it knew I enjoyed it. I’m sure there’s more then just one. I don’t know though. Shadow people, boogeymen, demons, there’s so many names for them. All I know is that they are real. They need us to survive. Don’t laugh. I’ve been laughed at all my life! I’m not crazy… I just need to… I need to get her back. She was my love. We were going to get married… God why…

Please I need to get her back. The shadows... I think I can fight them. I just need time alone, in the dark. I know how to get there. It's easy, anyone can find them. Children do it all the time. All you have to do is sit in the dark quietly for a few minutes... hey! WHERE ARE YOU GOING? DON'T LEAVE! I'M NOT READY TO FACE THEM! DON'T LEAVE ME HERE!

That was the end of the interview tape. The officers left the room to discuss the unusual case and call the aid of a mental health council to get an opinion while locking the young man in the room alone. Examination of the tape shows the door shutting and lights going out without cause and after a few minutes the door is opened but the officers could not find the young man anywhere. Instead of alerting any public to the mysterious circumstances surrounding the case it is advised that any information regarding the case be filed away without any questions asked. It will be hard for the families but for safety measures they will be informed simply that the young man (evidentially disturbed) escaped police custody and a continuing effort is being put forward to find the missing young woman.

Official Police Transcript Dated 6/8/06, two days after the original report. There is no record of continued effort or reappearance of the suspect or the young woman. Officers involved with the case have refused to comment and have since left the force. It’s important to note that there are quite a number of unsolved disappearances a year. The truth behind the case may never truly be known.