A Collaboration

Woke up.... took the adderall... work today. I hate work. I just feel like I can't. I can't be a burden either. Need to get ready for school in the fall. Missed my Doctor's appointment. Need a psychologist too. I'm sitting on my balcony. At least it's day. At night I swear I see things from up here. Shadows and strange lights. What if there  is something dark here following me? I don't want to be insane. I need to check all this out tonight. I'll have pictures. My game and documentary needs to get made along with some stories. Adderall hasn't kicked in. SO my mind is everywhere. Am I the same person when I'm on it? If it's not real will I miss the delusions? At least no Pyramid head in my dreams. Worried about my fiancee...

These are a series of poems that were a collaboration between my fiancee and I... I need to get my head out of whatever fog it is and work on something new...

A dark hymn flows through the air

I glance to see if anyone else does hear

It's apparent the haunting tune plays solely in my mind

It's like the music in a movie that warns you that trouble is close behind

And yet as if welcoming it I blissfully do not hinder it's bind

For since my loss there is no equal worry

And oddly the melody comforts me

At the edge of insanity

Where only a small breeze would send me off completely

Somehow, something unseen

Is holding ever so gently

If only I knew what

Or who

Cared enough to save me

A hallway with locked doors

Would it even matter if I knew which one was yours

Even worse so there are many seperate floors

I know I have it in me to find what I came here looking for

I just prefer working beside you as it was before

Without you I keep finding myself with new sores

Funny how love only hurts when it's no longer yours

How I curse my mind's corridors

Isn't it ironic I find myself in such metaphors

How fickle time is and just like a flame

It dances and bellows it's just a shame

That change is it's game

And the problem with games is the rules never change

Yet we're a race constantly evolving

And learning new ways of cheating

Anything for a better chance of winning

We are continuously forsaking

No one ever asked us if we wanted to play

So of course we feel we deserve a say

But time is never ending and we have an expiration date

There in lies humanity's saving grace that it never gives into fate

Much like a powerful blow to the face

Reality is always there to hit you and remind of the constant paper chase

So why is it so wrong some people can find that saving grace

Or be jealous of those who have nothing but time to waste

Is it a surprise this society is based on addiction and making haste

We're not individuals we're just there to take the previous person's place

So when is it we get to set our own pace

How do people enjoy life when they don't get a break from this rat race

Walking amongst the mountains out west

Fearful of the magnitude that they possess

For if I lose my way if they ever find my body is anyone's guess

You would think this would amount to a lot of stress

But this is only true if a weak soul you possess

For the beauty and the spirituality that these peaks embody

While filling my soul with the works of Frost

I wonder at the cost

Of humanity's seperation from mother nature's theator

How long can our race survive living at odds with our creator

No matter how hard people try to convince themselves

Humanity forgetting who was always by it's side

Men beliving that they are free to commit matricide

Committing those who oppose their breathen's ideals

They too will be condemned in the end

For each species we endanger

We bring ourselves one step closer

To an epic disaster

That will end our rain of destruction

Caused by our own construction

Staring out the window on the passenger side

Focusing on the rain crashing down on the window pane

Watching beads of water gather and get stronger

Until the weight pulls them down in a quick stream of water

And just stops and goes back to being a small bead